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At Sexual Wholiness, NakID Ministries offers a place of community discussion where we will all get to talk about sticky subjects regarding our sexuality in Jesus. Part of the name of NakID involves our identity — our identity in Jesus, our sexual identity, our culture, and others. Is sex enough to define us? Is Jesus someone we can identify with? Why is sexuality important to who we are, and in what ways is it sometimes unimportant? What does it mean to have sexual desires as a Christian?


We hope that this becomes a place of community discussion, not a read-only blog. You can comment anonymously or publicly, where you and your thoughts will be treated with respect and care.


Love and delight,

Sexual Wholiness writers


Shea Davis

Atticus Shires

Chelsea Tonti

Katelyn Skye Seitz

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Archive for October 2013

“Teaching” Healthy Sexuality: The Church's Harmful Narratives

by Shea Davis

It is extremely hard not to generalize the past of the Christian Church and its approach of teaching sexuality. Unfortunately, there tends to be only one message the Church seems to make very clear in regards to sexuality: You must wait until marriage to have sex. There are no ifs ands or buts. And unfortunately this leads to feelings of being lesser or out of God's love for those of us who have fallen short.

In other words, "If you didn't wait, you didn't love."
photo credit: juicyecumenism.com
Some of us have been blessed to hear or experience a more positive narrative of the blessing that sexuality is. However, some of us have been told that sexuality is something to squelch instead of foster. We have been told that it is not something beautiful, and, if not experienced in the confines of marriage, will lead to shame and guilt.

And don’t get me wrong; I am not saying that some of the things the Church teaches are incorrect. I fully believe that sex should only be experienced in marriage. The problem isn’t with the Truth of God’s Holy Word and what it commands of Christians; it’s the way the Church then takes the Word and applies it. 


The Church has hit the Abstinence message home. I am pretty certain that most young Christians in the Church have an idea that “sex before marriage is wrong.” But do they know why sex within marriage is so good? Why sex before marriage falls so short of the kind of intimacy and fulfillment sex within marriage can provide? Do we hear how stewarding our sexuality (not killing it) makes us more human and more connected to God and others? No. And why is this? Because the only people who speak on sexuality are either lecturing us or telling us this deep testimony where they climbed out of the dark hole of sexual sin and through the blood of Jesus Christ they have been purified once again. And the church can then grab them by the hand is say, “To everyone out there, this is an example of why we don’t have sex before marriage.” Don’t get me wrong, those testimonies are inspiring, and relatable to so many of us, but there has got to be another message. There has got to be something to look forward to.
  
We need to create a community where married people and singles can come together and speak truth, encourage, love, and support one another. We need to be raising and building up sexually healthy Christians — Christians who aren’t afraid to speak of S-E-X; Christians who know the consequences of sin, but also know the blessing of living the life they were designed for.

For those of us who have been hurt by the Church or fellow Christians, we need healing. Some of us have to change the way we look at ourselves. We are no longer the people we were before Christ entered into our lives. We became a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). We are forgiven (Ephesians 1:7). We have every spiritual blessing (Ephesians 1:3). This list goes on and on. And though many of us hurt, we no longer need to be bound by our past, because through Jesus we have freedom.
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