I just want to say that I did not sign up for this. I’ve
been among the Church my entire life, but my biblical knowledge had only been
stretched as far as: “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so…” So
when I came to Biola, I had no intention of finding the most controversial
topic on campus, grabbing it by the horns and dealing with it head on. The last
thing I wanted was to be at a school that has a tendency towards homophobia, to
have one of my best friends at Biola identifying as bisexual, and realize that
God was calling me to stop hiding behind the scenes and start speaking up for
people who have been thrown in a closet and told they can’t come out until they
change.
Before I really had a notion of what God was calling me to
do, He broke me. I felt like I was going insane. I was crying around three or four
times a day, I was constantly pissed at people, and I had no idea what to do
about it. After some time I found out there was someone on campus that could be
a great help to some of the crazy ideas I had floating around in my head. I had
lunch with Atticus, and even though he was still mostly closeted at that time,
and I happened to be a naïve, straight, baby Christian, we decided it was time
to do something on Biola’s campus.
On that day when Atticus and I decided to start this
ministry, we embarked. We began a
journey that we only had a vision for; we had no experience or true
understanding of what we were attempting to undertake. We were both scared. To
begin something so controversial—and for me, having such a young walk with the
Lord—I felt like there was no way I could do this. And really, I’m straight. How does this even impact me?
So I would try to walk away from it, and through many strange circumstances I
was shown that I really had no choice. My brothers and sisters were hurting; I
had to be someone who was willing to try, even if I didn’t have all the
answers.
As we planned this semester, I am overwhelmed by how God has
prepared me to be a leader in this ministry. Sure, He still hasn’t given me all
the answers, not even close. I have spent many a night rattling my brain and trying to answer the toughest questions out
there. But I find no rest there. I do, however, find rest in a community where
we work together to be the body of Christ. But this takes each person resisting
the temptation of letting fear grab hold of them, and instead, willing themselves
to embark with the rest of us. It takes courage to be a part of and commit to a
community of sinners. You have to be humble and be willing to look at your own
sin in the face. But you also get the opportunity to find the kind of
acceptance we all desire, just for being a human made in God’s image. So I am
asking you, whoever you are, to step out in faith and know that we are a
community that seeks Truth in love.
Embark
with us.
photo credit: Emily Weisbrot, OhYouDog Photography