Jul 26, 2013
by Chelsea Tonti
“The will to embrace that comes from the Spirit of God present in Christ seeks to create space for the other to be a part of oneself without either party experiencing alienation or assimilation... this grace is expressed in the will to embrace, since true embrace requires two or more who wish to connect in a way that does not oppress or exploit the other.” —Frank D. Macchia, Baptized In the Spirit
NakID is a ministry
where people are embraced — not alienated or assimilated, not exploited or
oppressed. We embrace because Christ first embraced us. It is for this work of
reconciliation we have been called (see Colossians 1:20-22 and 2 Corinthians 5:18-21). As we work with the Holy Spirit in establishing
the Kingdom of God here on earth, we are charged with the urgent duty of acting
out the Commission Jesus left us: “Go into the world and preach the good news
to all nations.” Essentially, this is to evangelize.
Evangelism is kind of a
scary word though, isn’t it? A worse word I learned just a few months ago in a
Biola chapel is proselytization.
Yikes! That word gives me the shivers! Whatever proselytization is, I thought,
I don’t want to do it and I don’t want it done to me! Yet this is what Jesus
asks of us. So how can we think of sharing the Gospel in a way that is less
terrifying — terrifying for us and those to whom we evangelize?
This may sound lofty,
but this is our call as a follower of Christ. So what are some practical tips
for engaging with people as you learn to operate as a reconciler? Well, I’m
glad you asked! Here are two tips that I think we could really benefit from.
#1 RESPECT: Treat people as if what they believe is true — because to them, it is.
I’m really nervous for
the day I catch a straight person telling a gay person, “You aren’t really gay,
you just think you are because you must have had some traumatic experience or
been abused or had something else happen to you that skewed your healthy
understanding of sexuality, blah blah blah.” Look. The second you recognize
that an individual is different from you (because they have a different sexual
orientation, a different religion, different lifestyle choices, or different
culture), take off your judging ears and put on your learning ears. You don’t
know them as well as you think you do. Have some humility. What they are saying
is true for them, and “correcting” all their “misperceptions” about how the
world works will not lead them to Jesus; leading them to Jesus will open their
eyes to see any misperceptions, and he will correct them in his time, according
to his merciful plan for their lives.
Someone out there is
saying, “But what if I actually do understand what is going on in this person’s
heart because my relationship with Christ has brought me so much understanding?
Or what if I have the gift of discernment, and I genuinely received revelation
about this person from the Holy Spirit, apart from my own judgement?” I really
value wisdom and the prophetic gifts. I’m certainly not telling you to ignore
the Holy Spirit. But here’s how I see it: Where does that understanding about
the other person come from? From Christ. How must you steward that
understanding? As Christ. What did Christ do? He loved the world of sinners so
much he died for it. Knowledge without love is arrogance. Knowledge with love
requires sacrifice. You get the privilege of judging a person when you love
them so much you are ready to die for them. So there.
#2 EMPATHY: Unity is possible when we value people for their hearts.
Now that we have
committed to respect people who are different from us and to place ourselves in
the learner’s seat instead of the preacher’s podium, you may be wondering, how can I ever connect with people since
there is no one I can truly understand?! Take heart — and take hearts
seriously.
For
instance, let's say I’m on Santa Monica Boulevard, and a man in full drag stands next to
me as we wait to cross the street. He’s drunk, smoking a cigarette and
swearing. Do I know what it’s like to dress up as the opposite sex? Nope. What
if he is gay; do I know what it’s like to experience same-sex attraction? Nope.
What if he is transitioning into becoming a woman; do I know what it is like to
feel like I’m in the wrong body? Nope again. Plus I hardly drink, never smoke
and wish I swore less than I do. Gosh, we just have nothing in common! This is
awkward...
This is the moment
where we need to commit to valuing people for their hearts, and where engaging
in empathy will require looking below the surface. The drag queen and I
actually have quite a bit in common if we hold our two hearts side-by-side. I
know how it feels to think I’m beautiful, sexy, eye-catching; I know how it
feels to want to be these things, and I know how it feels to not be these
things. Approval. It’s a deep desire that all humans crave. Now is the time to
give approval. Just as my heart craves to know someone is interested in me, he
wants to know he is interesting. My heart
needs its hurts validated — to know that the wrongs it has suffered really are
wrong.
My heart knows what it feels like to love someone more than it is
loved by them. My heart needs to know it is not alone. And so does his.
If
you commit to seeing people for their hearts, you will see that there is
actually very little separating the two of you from one another. It is the
love of Christ that helps you to understand them as other than yourself, and
the love of Christ that joins you two together again. These two elements are
indispensable for acting as reconcilers for the Gospel. You don’t have to
change anybody; that’s Holy Spirit’s job. You only must love them. You only
must will to embrace them. For if Jesus could look at a hopeless wretch like me
and declare the two of us to be perfectly compatible, could he not to do the
same for anyone?
"My heart needs its hurts validated — to know that the wrongs it has suffered really are wrong."
ReplyDeleteIt is amazing how much merely attending to this need can move a person. A professor I deeply admire once told me a story about a conversation he had with a man who was quite hostile in his beliefs. They definitely had differing views. At one point professor Root ask this man a question. "Has anyone ever told you that slavery was wrong?" (the other man was black) His whole demeanor softened as he answered, "No. I don't think anyone has ever told me that before." And all of a sudden they were on the same team.
I think this attitude is relevant in the way we evangelize. Often our effort is to "defend" our faith, our view, our Jesus.. and it almost assumes the other person is a threat to us rather then on our same team. We are both beggars looking for bread. I love how you said, "You only must will to embrace them." I want to be an advocate for their good as a human as I would want them to be for me. Thanks for writing this.
You're so right Katelyn, 'defending' the faith is really trendy in some circles. I'd even say it is appropriate in some circumstances. But as evangelists - or simply as Christians - we are called to have the same attitude towards people that God has. And I honestly don't picture God as being very defensive. The thought is so absurd, it's almost funny!
DeleteGod doesn't need to be defensive because he is so secure in himself. No attack threatens him. He is secure and therefore free to love. He is the freest being ever, and the most extravagantly loving, the most relentlessly compassionate being ever. God doesn't need to defend himself, because he is nature is made known in the revelation of his unyielding love.
And if God doesn't need to defend himself, I probably don't need to either. My job as a reconciler mandates that I focus my attention on making his nature known by revealing his unyielding love. It's not complicated: we just do what God does! John 5:19 "Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does."